Working together for a win-win solution
Spirit of cooperation
Negotiation takes place in a spirit of cooperation. This means that you may or may not get what you want. Your chances are greater at getting what you want when you are willing not to get what you want. This may sound confusing, but it works! If you can step aside your goal at getting what you want, and listen to the other side and work it out so that they get what they want, then 9 times out of 10, you also get what you want. It’s like pulling a thread at both ends with something balancing in the middle.
Negotiation is 2-way
A true negotiation takes place when both sides are willing to work things out. That willingness shows up with listening for understanding and communicating to be understood.
Give and Take
So you are communicating with the other party because you want something? Keep in mind the other party wants something too. Therein lies the reason for negotiation. In order for the negotiation to be successful, both parties must be willing to give away what they want so that the other party takes away what they want … can you see that if both parties do this, both parties get what they wanted in the first place? Give and take works, try it and see for yourself.
Conflict occurs when two opposing views or desires are opposite and presented as this is the way it has got to be. Negotiation occurs as a conversation that takes place with a neutral (yet determined) manner by which both sides are willing to do what it takes to resolve the issue in all fairness to the other party.
True and honest conversation is the only way negotiation works successfully for both parties. Being aware of the needs of the other party and willing to see to it that the other party gets what they need, is the only way to negotiate. For example, you need time off to go to a family event on a weekend you are scheduled to work. Your boss needs coverage that weekend. You need time off, your boss needs someone to cover the shift. In the negotiation, your boss says “yes, you can have the time off, but I need for you to find someone to cover for you.” In this case, you get the time off and your boss gets coverage. Both parties got what they needed.
Sometimes in a conversation with someone, the person talking is being heard but not listened to … because the other person is hearing the words spoken and thinking of the next thing they plan to say.
This is how “miscommunication” and “misunderstanding” occurs that generally leads to hurt feelings, tense moments and negative outcomes. In order to keep that from happening, it is wiser to close your one mouth and open your two ears.
Listen for more than the words spoken. Listen for the intent. Listen for the expression of wants and needs. Then respond with understanding and your intent to help the other party achieve their goal in this negotiation; they are intent in helping you achieve your goal — so in this way, both parties come away satisfied from the negotiation.
Synergestic conversation is what takes place in a true negotiation. Both parties work together to make sure that both parties are heard, understood and responded to in a fair, equitable and positive manner. To meet in the middle of this conversation, it is necessary to step closer to the middle with a compromise. But what is really nice about working together to meet in the middle is that both parties come away having met their goal of getting what they need. This is how a win-win solution is made with a true negotiation.